Dark Writer

I got of the bed…   and started walking over to door… the soft carpet under her bed… something that I did not notice before…   the floor was warm… but my hands still felt cold… numb even… but at that moment… with both of my feet firmly planted on the ground I had to stop my mind from wondering.   I knew what I needed to… my goal right now was coffee… down the hall and to the right, so I took my time walking towards the door… I wanted to get my head straight. I needed to make sure that I was awake… but who was I to think that my spine was going to be chilled… as I opened the door out to the rest of the house I felt a cold breeze against my skin… the warmth that I loved, the warmth that I felt like I needed was stripped away from me. The outside hallway was dark cold… the tiled floor exaggerated the cold, the fact that there was no light, made everything feel ominous.                 I had to go ...

She walked away after she said that. She walked over to the mirror to start fixing her hair…  she looked around and picked up her skirt… “I told you to wash the cloths yesterday…” “HEY! I did… there just no dry… ” “Sander! I have work to day… I can’t just ware my school cloths!” “If you wanted them done sooner you should have washed them…” “You want me to use wet cloths…” “That’s not what I said Ally...” “I’m the only one that’s making money. ” “I’m the one that’s paying for this apartment Sander…” “I was saying I wanted to take a leave from school and just work…” “You can’t even pass one subject… you think you can take on school with work! The least you can do is actually appreciate what I’m doing for you…” “I did not ask you to do this for me!” “CAN’T YOU BE HAPPY THAT I’M TRYING!” “I CAN’T! I DON’T WANT YOU TO SUFFER FOR ME I CAN DO IT ALL ON MY OWN!” “I AM ASKING YOU TO HELP ME WITH SOME OF OUT HOUSE HOLD CHORESE!” “I KNOW AND I’M TRYING!” “I DID NOT SIGN UP F...

“We can make it warmer… “Warm heart for a warm room…”                 Her arms wrapped around my neck… This… feeling… I don’t remember it… but it… feels so familiar… I was feeling hung over… but my head felt so clear… Her lips gently touched mine… the kiss was soft but passionate… and as the kiss broke… I unintentionally smiled… her dark blue eyes… made it so… clear… this was supposed to be a onetime thing… I brushed the hair out of her eyes… then lead my hand down to her chin, god… the control I need for this… I can really do anything… my head rushing with so much on my mind… I can’t really think of anything else but her… the way she looked at me. I was infatuated with her… “You’re smiling….” “You make it sound like I’ve never done that before…” “I’ve seen you smile… but this one… is real.” “You know me to well…” “I don’t even know your last name… but… this…” “Just a one time thing I know” “Hell no d...

“Danny…” Char said “Think we should go down and grab some food… and I think I have to tend to the other patrons in my bar.” “Ya that’s fine I’ll go join you.” The two of them got up and left the room… as the door opened I found that sound from outside was loud and blasting… the singer was belting out another song. What happened next was going to be the bane of me… Niki got up and went to the table and started drinking again. She was not going to stop… and honestly I wanted to join her. I just wanted to give on trying to keep everything straight… I wanted out I wanted to finally get out o of my comfort zone. I just wanted to forget to this night ever happened. So I continued to drink. I found that the world I made for myself was slowly falling apart. I missed being ignorant… I missed not knowing how bad the world really was.                 The night was mostly silent… odd looks from Niki and Ice… and before I k...

That was clearly not true at this point… as I looked around the room the only person looking at me was Ice… she was looking at me and she started to shake her head… Niki pulled me closer to her. the room was so silent you could hear the muffled singer from outside. She was singing some old song… it was popular about 50 years ago. Danny looked at everyone for a second… “So what’s everyone’s plan for tonight?” “I’m going to get drunk and pass out in Sander’s house” Niki said. I simply nodded. “Jen? Ice how about you two? ” “Jen and I will be… working out some personal problems after a few drinks…” said Ice. “What kind of personal problems are those… if I may ask?” “Um Jen and I are… fighting over a guy…” “Ohh… well… um who might that be?” “I don’t think we should say just yet, we don’t want to make too much of a problem for some people.” “… … … Char? How about you what are you think of? Plans tonight??  I mean to say…” “Um… maybe just going to drink and maybe have a nice ...

I felt my chest race… and my face was frozen I looked at her and she simply just looked back at me… she looked deep in to my eyes.. I felt my lips move but I could not speak… She reached out and pulled me closer, slowly wrapping her arms around me. “Sander?” “I don’t know…. What… I don’t know what to say… honestly I don’t even know what you are asking …. Or why you would even ask that?” “I… Sorry… I did not mean to pry… It’s just that I noticed the way you looked at them.” “Please don’t assume that… I… I honestly don’t know how I feel about them just yet… Honestly i want to find out how I feel about myself before anything else.” “No Sander… I… wait… I did not mean to say anything like that…” “Don’t… start please… I just want to have a drink and a talk…”                 I stood up and looked out the window… Char and Danny disappeared same with Jen and Ice… I looked at where they were standing. And after ...

She remained silent… just turned away and kept on walking… she began to hum… such a soothing music… the tone was truly relaxing… I found the grater enjoyment. The song that she was humming was relatively familiar. She spoke as we got closer to the bar “I did not really think of you as the strong silent type.” “strong and silent are the worst words to describe me.”                 I opened the door for her she as she entered loud blasting music, filled my ears… at the bar I saw Char talking to Danny… and Ice was sitting off on her own… Approaching her was Jen. This… is going to be one hell of a night… Char looked at me… so Danny did as well. I walked over to the bar and the 2 of them walked over to us as we sat down. Char then spoke… “Maybe you two want the private room upstairs… we… we will join you in a few…” “I don’t think I can pay for a private room right now…” then Danny chipped in “I’ll pay for us...

“Sir are you here for… something?” “Um… I’m here to meet Niki.” “Niki… she Is still inside…” “Oh… do you know when she is done?” “thirty minutes at most. “ “I’ll wait here…” “Want some coffee? My wife always makes me far too much.” “Um… I don’t want to be a bother… I’ll be happy just to wait here “ “Fine… if you want some I’ll be over here.” As he said this he walked over to the guard house…                 I stood there looking at the stars… the moon… it all… looked so nice… it truly captured my attention… soon I found myself sitting down on the edge of the side walk… snow started to cover my shoulders and head. I heard the snow crunch under someone’s shoes… “Hey…” that soft voice the melodic intonation… just the raw sound… it was Nik, I Spun my head around and looked at her. “You really managed to keep a man waiting.” “Don’t flatter yourself ” “I think flattering yourself is  a good way t...

She walked out of the auditorium leaving me behind… then I heard the door close and the lights turn on. Then Some was laughing… As I turned to face the voice I say him… Danny. “Smooth moves my main man” “Don’t start Danny” I felt him starting to move towards me. “Come on man It’s Niki she is super popular ” “I don’t really care about popularity” “Okay let’s say that you don’t… so why say yes?” “Because I can fell something about her” “Might want to change the phrasing on that” “Fine… I feel a grater connection towards her ” “So that it’s?  a grater connection… think that changes her popularity” “I told you that I don’t really care about her popularity” “Fine… so where are you going to bring her?” “Char’s bar most likely” “don’t you think that might be a little too soon comparing from yesterday” “Yesterday was just a coincidence”                 I saw him sigh… he started to think of thing...

As I looked at her I got a good sense of her character. Her short hair was a dark brown,  the right side of her hair was shaved and it was use to show a clear cross earring that was hanging on her ear.  Her eyes where the defining feature on her, one was clearly dark blue. And the other one was closer to being a green color. As I looked closer at her she spoke and my mind was snapped back in to reality. “At least you are looking at my eyes.” “beautiful to say the least. “As long as you keep your eyes up here then it’s fine.”  as she said this she took a leap off the stage. Her leather boots mad a loud landing on the floor. She took a closer step towards me. She suddenly reached out and wrapped her arms around my neck. I looked at her… “don’t you think it’s a little too early for that?” “Maybe just a little… but I like the look of you…”                 Like the look of me I look like a ...

her face was clean no more blood splattered across everything. I looked at her and I could feel the weight of everything I did slowly coming down on me. She pushed me to lay down… “Sleep” she said sitting down on the bed next to me… “I… I’m sorry.” “Don’t just please rest… we can talk about this tomorrow.”  I closed my eyes let the cold take me, I could feel the dream world slowly take me… What did I dream up? I would lie if I told you that I dreamt up something good for once. Something to take my mind of off the pain, something to make me forget… but no… I woke up with no one around… sitting up all I saw. Was a letter sitting on the table… Simple latter I walked over to the table. All I could think of was her… All of these things happening again. Picked up the paper and threw it in drawer. I did not want to know… I walked back to my bag… School… All I could think of was class… seeing char and seeing everyone all over again it was too much. Took a shower and started to mak...

“Regret it?! Jen I can’t spend one day without thinking about what you did. She left me because of you?!” “Sander please.” I got up and stood next to the mirror.                 Hated her… I hated… something… I started to think did I hate her? Or was it me? I looked in to the mirror I did not see me anymore, what happened to the smart kid that everyone loved?, that kid that made everyone happy. I could feel my blood pumping around my body, I could feel my head get light, but my eyes were locked on the mirror, I was looking at my own eyes I could see someone that hated so much, I wanted him dead…  there was the soft ticking of the clock.  Tick… tick…. Tick. Then the mirror shattered. I hear Jen gasp then yell. “sander! What is wrong with you.” As I slammed my hand on to the table blood splattered over the table top and jen’s Jacket “Sander sit down” Jen stood up reaching out her hand. “get out...

We both lay down as we passionately kiss, Her aggressive nature makes things… Unsafe from time to time, she asks. “Still have ropes?” “Jen… not In the mood for that right now.”  As she dose that she gently bites my inner arm. “Please? I have not been played with for some time.” “I’m… I’m just so Lost with that kind of stuff, right now…” “Come on… I miss the rope burn.” “Jen… Please… Can we have one normal night?” “You’re a Dom Sander… our Thing is not normal.” “I Don’t want to… Just not in the mood.”                 She reaches up to hold my face, she pulls me down kissing my cheek. The passion in her eyes. The sexual desire, “You okay… you usually love to tie me up…” “I used to…” She rolls around laying chest down on and puts her arms behind her back. “I have some rope in my jacket.”                 I slowly cares h...

“Ya… she made mistakes and I… can of just left her” “What did she do?  I mean she must have done something right?” “She… She killed someone I love…” That… was when the night took another turn.                 Char’s face said it all… she was so caught off guard. Her hand shook as she reached for mine… I did not want to cause more problems. I did not want things to go down this way, “she… she she killed someone?” “In away…” “Wait sander…  are you kidding?! Because this is not something you should be joking around with.” “It’s just hard to explain right now…” “So when will you explain IT?! BACUSE I’M GETTING TRIED OF ALL OF YOUR SHIT SANDER!” that caught me of guard “YOU KEEP RUNNING AWAY FROM THESE PROBLEMS OF YOURS ” With this I could see the rage in her eyes slowly building. Within a second I felt her hand across my face.           ...

Then that is where the night really started to go downhill… As Ice said one sentence I knew for a fact that this night would not end well… “Oh Jen… nice to see you again” “Nice to see you too Ice…”                 I looked at both of them… as if one of them was not stressful already. I looked at them… I wanted my mind clear. But as Ice sat down next to Jen that was when I knew this night was going to get a little longer… “sander… I waited for you…” “I… I know… Dude… I just had to go home.” “You had to go home sander?!” Ice stopped for a few seconds “or you just wanted to leave me.” “That’s not it… I was just trying to get away from all the stress.” “Stress sander?! Are you calling me stressful ?” “That is not what I said Ice.”                 She was stressful to deal with she was sensitive about every single thing. I ...

Ropes…  and tape it was hell for me… Jen and her practiced on each other, and that is how I got to know her that was how I got to know Jen… Ally an Jen got in to all of this stuff together. I found but when I asked her about their statues Ally said that they were nothing special. “you two not even a thing… and yet you still managed to mess up her relationship.” I saw the Jen’s eyes light up with hurt. “Your such… such an ass hat…” I was way pushed over the edge. I was losing it… I hated her… I hated the fact that she came back. “You think just because you two used to have fun in bed that means she loved you? You are just like the ropes… an over exaggeration of being helpless!” as I said this… I took another sip… I got up and I went to the window again…                 The silence in the room was quite daunting. It felt like a lot of pressure was in the room. but I locked my eyes on to the singer, ...

“I know I did… I feel guilty, honestly I do. I… I loved her too you know…” “I know that Jen… but… you went way too far.” “we both agreed that you would back off… and I would leave you and Mark alone…”                 I held her guilty for everything she did to me… to us… I knew it for a fact… I lost her all because of Jen. I stood there still looking at the singer on stage.  “you know I did not love Mark… that was just a mess up… that is it…” “So you went and messed with her…” “Sander… I was first…” as she said this I sat back down on the other side of the table looking at her. “you were first? You were the reason that she lost it all in the first place. If you were first like you said…. Then why the hell did you let her go?!” after I said this I took a sip from my drink                 She looked at me… she always gave ...

Our eyes locked with each other… I paused for a second… I was trying to build up some courage to either  walk away from her  or talk to her… I could already feel my hand shaking. And my vision started to blur… my heart was pounding… My mind wanted to say so much… but my heart was far too hurt to say anything at all… “Jen…” I said… I felt as if my voice was cracking. “Sander…” “What brings you back to town?” “I wanted to get in to contact with some old friends” “Guess that I don’t count as an old friend.” “you’re… actually the person on the top of my list…” she said, letting out a sigh… “Let’s talk over a drink”                                  I entered the bar without waiting for her. She followed behind me.  I sat down at the bar… Char looked at me with cold eyes… as if I was really dead to her… I t...

“I don’t want to be called Ally! Only Sander calls me Ally!” I stepped out from the shadows “Ally, I’m here for you” her eyes were full of shock                 My blood chilled as I stood there looking at her… sitting on the edge of the bridge, basically on the edge of  no return… it was so hard to see her like that. I knew for a fact that we only had a few hours of time together.  It was not something. I was expecting… but even after a few hours for our time… I already felt like I loved her for my whole life… it was extremely new for me… I knew for a fact that she was different… But honestly… I wish I could just run away. I wish that I could do away with whatever I was feeling… but I still felt like I was desperate. Desperate for everything… the emotions that she made me feel… the fact that someone in the world knew how I felt was something that was so amazing to me so I wanted to keep that feel...

But Honestly I hated her… I could not wait for her to be out of my life… but I could not think of anyone else to take her place. She was someone that just I loved fighting with… someone that was willing to take the hit and we both where able to distress as a reward. Lycel… I wish I knew how to deal with you… every time I try to talk to you… I just turn things sideways… every single time… Did I talk to her… I just went home… cold… alone… I felt my skin crawl as I walked past faces I would never remember. Faces that never really cared about me.                   I skipped out on class, I wanted to rest… I wanted to go home… the snow fell on my head as I walked away from everything. People always said that I run away from my problems often time I would say that it was not true, I was the kind of guy that took my problems head on. But whenever it came to Ice…  I just wanted to skip over it… or… not hav...