My Battle With Mental Health (Chapter 1)[page 26] Not So perfect Love.

She walked away after she said that. She walked over to the mirror to start fixing her hair…  she looked around and picked up her skirt…

“I told you to wash the cloths yesterday…”
“HEY! I did… there just no dry… ”
“Sander! I have work to day… I can’t just ware my school cloths!”
“If you wanted them done sooner you should have washed them…”
“You want me to use wet cloths…”
“That’s not what I said Ally...”
“I’m the only one that’s making money. ”
“I’m the one that’s paying for this apartment Sander…”
“I was saying I wanted to take a leave from school and just work…”
“You can’t even pass one subject… you think you can take on school with work! The least you can do is actually appreciate what I’m doing for you…”
“I did not ask you to do this for me!”
“CAN’T YOU BE HAPPY THAT I’M TRYING!”
“I CAN’T! I DON’T WANT YOU TO SUFFER FOR ME I CAN DO IT ALL ON MY OWN!”
“I AM ASKING YOU TO HELP ME WITH SOME OF OUT HOUSE HOLD CHORESE!”
“I KNOW AND I’M TRYING!”
“I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR YOU TO TREAT ME LIKE THIS!”
“SO WHAT DID YOU SIGN UP FOR? THINK A RELATIONSHIP WITH ME WOULD BE NORMAL ALLY?!”
“I DON’T KNOW!!!”

I remember rolling around in bed to look away from her… I could hear her walking around… and after a few minutes she was walking around in heels… I heard her walk towards me… I felt her put her hand on me… giving me a kiss on the cheek she pulled the blanket over me and whispered “Love you.”

                It stung I was actually really hurt… even after I yelled at her… I did not mean too… I let my own pride get a hold of me again. It was too complicated…  I was back in my own mind again… I knew why… Why I can’t be with Niki… every time that I love someone this ends up happening… I felt Niki holding my hand… Snap back to reality Sander… Please… I don’t want to ruin this… I could feel my heart… Calling out for love… but my mind… locking itself… with all of the fear…  I don’t want to deal with this…

                At that moment… I felt Niki crawl off from me… she laid next to me… The soft breathing… Like a rhythm I could feel the beat…  the song… I felt like… we were making music.

“Sander… Coffee… ” she requested once again.
“down the hall right…”
“and to the right… ”
“Anything else? ”
“maybe a kiss after.. ”