My Battle With Mental Health (Chapter 1)[page 9] Back from the dead

“I don’t want to be called Ally! Only Sander calls me Ally!” I stepped out from the shadows
“Ally, I’m here for you” her eyes were full of shock

                My blood chilled as I stood there looking at her… sitting on the edge of the bridge, basically on the edge of  no return… it was so hard to see her like that. I knew for a fact that we only had a few hours of time together.  It was not something. I was expecting… but even after a few hours for our time… I already felt like I loved her for my whole life… it was extremely new for me… I knew for a fact that she was different… But honestly… I wish I could just run away. I wish that I could do away with whatever I was feeling… but I still felt like I was desperate. Desperate for everything… the emotions that she made me feel… the fact that someone in the world knew how I felt was something that was so amazing to me so I wanted to keep that feeling…

“Sander…. It can’t be… I must be going crazy.” I was thinking the same thing… to see her here… in a place like this was just so odd so out of place…
“It’s me…” I spoke slowly… “it’s me dear…”  I could still see the fact that her hands were gripping tightly  on the rail that she was sitting on. “now come back over the rails.”
“I… I can’t-t ..” I stood there looking at her… she would not even look at me.
“you can’t… or you don’t want to?”  That was a brave thing to say… but I just had that feeling that she would not do anything…
“I… I don’t want to.” I stood there for a few seconds then I started to walk towards her.
“it’s okay dear… just come back over and everything will be okay.”

“Will everything be okay?” she said, her voice was laced in pain.
“It will be… as long as we both care.”

To say that it was a positive memory would be a lie…  It was a hard thing to remember… Even sitting here in my cold room alone… was killing me. I hated it. My eyes skipped from my school bag that was lying on the floor to the wall clock… Seven thirty pm, the perfect time to start walking to Char’s bar. I would get there in maybe an hour or two. I started to put on whatever clean cloths I had left, grabbing my phone, my wallet and my keys.  I went around the room picking up whatever  dirty cloths I could see and just placed them in the laundry, I started up the machine and started walking to the bar…

                All I could hear was the soft crunching of snow… and the motors of the cars that would pass from time to time. Tonight was a lot more chilling than the past ones… this season in general was far too annoying for me. It was something that I never really got used to… even if I did live in Guio for eighteen years… the winter always caught me off guard… I bumped into someone… truth be told I did not really care about it… but my calling as a human told me to apologize considering that I was the one that walked straight in to whoever that person was.

                I looked up and… there my body froze… just looking at her face sent chills down my spine…  sudden flashes of how much I suffered around them… It froze me… as she stood there… looking back at me… I could tell that tonight… was going to be a long night…