My Battle With Mental Health (Chapter 1)[page 24] Warm be cold heart
“Danny…” Char said “Think we should go down and grab some
food… and I think I have to tend to the other patrons in my bar.”
“Ya that’s fine I’ll go join you.” The two of them got up and left the room… as the door opened I found that sound from outside was loud and blasting… the singer was belting out another song. What happened next was going to be the bane of me… Niki got up and went to the table and started drinking again. She was not going to stop… and honestly I wanted to join her. I just wanted to give on trying to keep everything straight… I wanted out I wanted to finally get out o of my comfort zone. I just wanted to forget to this night ever happened. So I continued to drink. I found that the world I made for myself was slowly falling apart. I missed being ignorant… I missed not knowing how bad the world really was.
The night was mostly silent… odd looks from Niki and Ice… and before I knew it I found that I was half way in to my forth bottle of beer… I did not even know how to hold my head up anymore… I was constantly just swaying from side to side… I felt Niki’s hand on mine… I felt her push my body up and say
“I’ll take you home big guy…” I was not really sure… but I think I could remember Ice saying something…
Niki got mad… and carried me out… then my memory blurred in to one soft fuzz… things went by quickly moving from one location to another.
But the next morning I woke up in a warm bed. I felt a warm body next to mine… I found that Niki was sleeping… and this room was not my own… The room was warm… Some would even say it was hot. But as it stands I find that the room is messy but in a good way.
On one side of the room I found that there was a music stand… something to put musical notes on… or maybe even lyrics… a lone violin sat on one side, but the thing that caught my eye was the broken guitar… it was sitting against the wall out of it’s case… seemed to be in horrid condition, the scratches on front of the guitar, seemed to be from a knife… there is one large cut on where the strings would attach themselves… At first look at the guitar it looked like there was some kind of water damage. But as I looked closer at the water damage it looked less and less like water and slightly more like blood splatter.
I tried to skip over that slight details… and I looked out on to the whole room… I noticed that the whole room was covered with an orange tint to it, the light seemed to be coming from the sky light with an orange panel… I found Niki’s arms where wrapped around my body… I felt… different… like… the world was going to be okay… but the lingering feeling was there… the fact that I knew I… I could not keep happy for long.
“Sander…” Niki whispered from underneath the pillow on her head… I reached over to her and I patted her head. “Coffee… please….” “Where…” “down the hall… to the right…” “Bed to warm… don’t want to leave….” As I said this I felt her crawl on top of me. her hair extremely messy, and all she had on was the bare minimum
“Ya that’s fine I’ll go join you.” The two of them got up and left the room… as the door opened I found that sound from outside was loud and blasting… the singer was belting out another song. What happened next was going to be the bane of me… Niki got up and went to the table and started drinking again. She was not going to stop… and honestly I wanted to join her. I just wanted to give on trying to keep everything straight… I wanted out I wanted to finally get out o of my comfort zone. I just wanted to forget to this night ever happened. So I continued to drink. I found that the world I made for myself was slowly falling apart. I missed being ignorant… I missed not knowing how bad the world really was.
The night was mostly silent… odd looks from Niki and Ice… and before I knew it I found that I was half way in to my forth bottle of beer… I did not even know how to hold my head up anymore… I was constantly just swaying from side to side… I felt Niki’s hand on mine… I felt her push my body up and say
“I’ll take you home big guy…” I was not really sure… but I think I could remember Ice saying something…
Niki got mad… and carried me out… then my memory blurred in to one soft fuzz… things went by quickly moving from one location to another.
But the next morning I woke up in a warm bed. I felt a warm body next to mine… I found that Niki was sleeping… and this room was not my own… The room was warm… Some would even say it was hot. But as it stands I find that the room is messy but in a good way.
On one side of the room I found that there was a music stand… something to put musical notes on… or maybe even lyrics… a lone violin sat on one side, but the thing that caught my eye was the broken guitar… it was sitting against the wall out of it’s case… seemed to be in horrid condition, the scratches on front of the guitar, seemed to be from a knife… there is one large cut on where the strings would attach themselves… At first look at the guitar it looked like there was some kind of water damage. But as I looked closer at the water damage it looked less and less like water and slightly more like blood splatter.
I tried to skip over that slight details… and I looked out on to the whole room… I noticed that the whole room was covered with an orange tint to it, the light seemed to be coming from the sky light with an orange panel… I found Niki’s arms where wrapped around my body… I felt… different… like… the world was going to be okay… but the lingering feeling was there… the fact that I knew I… I could not keep happy for long.
“Sander…” Niki whispered from underneath the pillow on her head… I reached over to her and I patted her head. “Coffee… please….” “Where…” “down the hall… to the right…” “Bed to warm… don’t want to leave….” As I said this I felt her crawl on top of me. her hair extremely messy, and all she had on was the bare minimum
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