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My Battle With Mental Health (Chapter 1)[page 24] Warm be cold heart

“Danny…” Char said “Think we should go down and grab some food… and I think I have to tend to the other patrons in my bar.” “Ya that’s fine I’ll go join you.” The two of them got up and left the room… as the door opened I found that sound from outside was loud and blasting… the singer was belting out another song. What happened next was going to be the bane of me… Niki got up and went to the table and started drinking again. She was not going to stop… and honestly I wanted to join her. I just wanted to give on trying to keep everything straight… I wanted out I wanted to finally get out o of my comfort zone. I just wanted to forget to this night ever happened. So I continued to drink. I found that the world I made for myself was slowly falling apart. I missed being ignorant… I missed not knowing how bad the world really was.                 The night was mostly silent… odd looks from Niki and Ice… and before I k...

My Battle With Mental Health (Chapter 1)[page 23] Night internal abuse

That was clearly not true at this point… as I looked around the room the only person looking at me was Ice… she was looking at me and she started to shake her head… Niki pulled me closer to her. the room was so silent you could hear the muffled singer from outside. She was singing some old song… it was popular about 50 years ago. Danny looked at everyone for a second… “So what’s everyone’s plan for tonight?” “I’m going to get drunk and pass out in Sander’s house” Niki said. I simply nodded. “Jen? Ice how about you two? ” “Jen and I will be… working out some personal problems after a few drinks…” said Ice. “What kind of personal problems are those… if I may ask?” “Um Jen and I are… fighting over a guy…” “Ohh… well… um who might that be?” “I don’t think we should say just yet, we don’t want to make too much of a problem for some people.” “… … … Char? How about you what are you think of? Plans tonight??  I mean to say…” “Um… maybe just going to drink and maybe have a nice ...

My Battle With Mental Health (Chapter 1)[page 22] Cold as ICE

I felt my chest race… and my face was frozen I looked at her and she simply just looked back at me… she looked deep in to my eyes.. I felt my lips move but I could not speak… She reached out and pulled me closer, slowly wrapping her arms around me. “Sander?” “I don’t know…. What… I don’t know what to say… honestly I don’t even know what you are asking …. Or why you would even ask that?” “I… Sorry… I did not mean to pry… It’s just that I noticed the way you looked at them.” “Please don’t assume that… I… I honestly don’t know how I feel about them just yet… Honestly i want to find out how I feel about myself before anything else.” “No Sander… I… wait… I did not mean to say anything like that…” “Don’t… start please… I just want to have a drink and a talk…”                 I stood up and looked out the window… Char and Danny disappeared same with Jen and Ice… I looked at where they were standing. And after ...

My Battle With Mental Health (Chapter 1)[page 21] Night of Six

She remained silent… just turned away and kept on walking… she began to hum… such a soothing music… the tone was truly relaxing… I found the grater enjoyment. The song that she was humming was relatively familiar. She spoke as we got closer to the bar “I did not really think of you as the strong silent type.” “strong and silent are the worst words to describe me.”                 I opened the door for her she as she entered loud blasting music, filled my ears… at the bar I saw Char talking to Danny… and Ice was sitting off on her own… Approaching her was Jen. This… is going to be one hell of a night… Char looked at me… so Danny did as well. I walked over to the bar and the 2 of them walked over to us as we sat down. Char then spoke… “Maybe you two want the private room upstairs… we… we will join you in a few…” “I don’t think I can pay for a private room right now…” then Danny chipped in “I’ll pay for us...

My Battle With Mental Health (Chapter 1)[page 20] Blanket of Snow

“Sir are you here for… something?” “Um… I’m here to meet Niki.” “Niki… she Is still inside…” “Oh… do you know when she is done?” “thirty minutes at most. “ “I’ll wait here…” “Want some coffee? My wife always makes me far too much.” “Um… I don’t want to be a bother… I’ll be happy just to wait here “ “Fine… if you want some I’ll be over here.” As he said this he walked over to the guard house…                 I stood there looking at the stars… the moon… it all… looked so nice… it truly captured my attention… soon I found myself sitting down on the edge of the side walk… snow started to cover my shoulders and head. I heard the snow crunch under someone’s shoes… “Hey…” that soft voice the melodic intonation… just the raw sound… it was Nik, I Spun my head around and looked at her. “You really managed to keep a man waiting.” “Don’t flatter yourself ” “I think flattering yourself is  a good way t...

My Battle With Mental Health (Chapter 1)[page 19] New blood

She walked out of the auditorium leaving me behind… then I heard the door close and the lights turn on. Then Some was laughing… As I turned to face the voice I say him… Danny. “Smooth moves my main man” “Don’t start Danny” I felt him starting to move towards me. “Come on man It’s Niki she is super popular ” “I don’t really care about popularity” “Okay let’s say that you don’t… so why say yes?” “Because I can fell something about her” “Might want to change the phrasing on that” “Fine… I feel a grater connection towards her ” “So that it’s?  a grater connection… think that changes her popularity” “I told you that I don’t really care about her popularity” “Fine… so where are you going to bring her?” “Char’s bar most likely” “don’t you think that might be a little too soon comparing from yesterday” “Yesterday was just a coincidence”                 I saw him sigh… he started to think of thing...

My Battle With Mental Health (Chapter 1)[page 18] Date with the snow

As I looked at her I got a good sense of her character. Her short hair was a dark brown,  the right side of her hair was shaved and it was use to show a clear cross earring that was hanging on her ear.  Her eyes where the defining feature on her, one was clearly dark blue. And the other one was closer to being a green color. As I looked closer at her she spoke and my mind was snapped back in to reality. “At least you are looking at my eyes.” “beautiful to say the least. “As long as you keep your eyes up here then it’s fine.”  as she said this she took a leap off the stage. Her leather boots mad a loud landing on the floor. She took a closer step towards me. She suddenly reached out and wrapped her arms around my neck. I looked at her… “don’t you think it’s a little too early for that?” “Maybe just a little… but I like the look of you…”                 Like the look of me I look like a ...