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Showing posts from March, 2017

My Battle With Mental Health (Chapter 1)[page 3] From the Dark to the Void.

And that was when my emotions boiled all together, a sudden feeling of happiness and pain, the joy with sudden suffering… so I remained silent. I did not know how to feel… so I would just have to leave her… I did not acknowledge anything that she said. I simply walked away, to I tried my best to get to my class room. But in the end… I felt far too lazy. And I had way too much self-loathing, I wanted to talk to that girl, but the truth be told is I felt over whelmed, I felt too panicked. And honestly I wanted to lessen my time here. I did not want to stay in school. It felt like a living hell. Even before I walked in to the class room, one of my teachers spoke to me, her long hair and stupid outfit is extremely off setting, and the fact that her eyeglasses reflecting the light in to my eyes. “I’m honestly surprised that you came to school…” “why would you say that ma’am” “Well you’re so stupid and all,” ma’am Flora was always like this… even from the first day I got here she was

My Battle With Mental Health (Chapter 1)[page 2] Out of the Cold And in to the Dark.

All I could hear was the soft snow crunching under my feet, the sounds was not too calming, truth be told... it put me on edge... made me feel like I was being watched. one in the morning I knew for a fact that people would not be out... but that way of thinking put me more on edge. my heart was racing. I have been walking for an hour... nothing but the snow around me... made everything feel like it was empty... like... it was nothing. The fact that the moon was out did not help the fact that I was on edge... my eyes where darting from tree to tree... side ally to anything I could look at... only a few more feet and I was going to be home... the door was in my line of sight...           I rushed towards the door. It was my only chance to rest and relax… something… but as the door unlocked and I stepped in to my house… that was the time, I realized I was alone again. I knew that I had school tomorrow, to others it would be a day of school. It was supposed to be simple, you go th

My Battle With Mental Health (Chapter 1)[page 1]

         I told myself that everything was going to be okay. I never realized how much of a lie that was. I could spend so much time thinking about how to fix things, how to make things better, but in the end it did not work out.         I was sitting alone in a bar, the bar of one of my schoolmates. It was some place I still enjoyed. Some place I felt like I could be me. Holding an empty bottle in my hand, I found that it was already half empty. But other things drew my attention away like the cuts on my left arm that were red so even if I was trying to avoid it, I will still be looking at it. The bar owner walked to wards me. Seeing that it was already late and I was the only one that was in the bar.          "Drinking again Sander?" she spoke, sitting next to me. Her long hair and thick black jacket was somewhat comforting to me. She was someone from school... I saw her a lot and I heard that she was some kind of a model. As if that was supposed to catch my attention