My Battle With Mental Health (Chapter 1)[page 7] Guilt Trip.

This door was what felt like my way out.  my way to escape the world. I looked at the door one last time… as I touched the steel door, I felt the cold of the door rushing up my spine. My hand started to push against the door, and the door slowly opened the beam of light from the emergency room shot in to the dark hallway. Char looked at me… As I started walking in to the room Char gabbed me.

“Sander….”
“Char.”
“If you don’t want to go in there you don’t have too…” I let off a sight before I spoke again.
“Who is it…”
“Lycel”
“Ice? What happened to her?!”
“Don’t…. don’t think I am in my own right to tell you… but … you might want to think before you actually go in there….”
“ Like I actually think.”
“well if you do start to think maybe now is the best time…  I know for a fact that you two where no on the best terms the last time you saw each other.”

                That was true… honestly that is the only thing I could remember Whenever we were together I found that we would just end up fighting…  Char was the only thing that reminded us that we were still in public. Often times we would fight in Char’s bar… but past that… we had no other communication… that is the thing that got me thinking… why do I care so much for someone that  I spent next to know time with… it was the fact that she was there… she was always there. After every fight we fixed things… even if we were going to fight again… it was the fact that I had someone there for me… someone to take care of me… someone to drink with and complain about the world.

“She needs me”
“she barely cares about you.”
“She dose… she just does not know how to show it yet. “
“she hurt you… she made lose your shit… you nearly killed yourself for that girl!” Clenching my fist I punched the wall next to Char
“So tell me why I am here!... if you knew all of that why did you even bring me here.”
“I did not want to… Danny Told me too…”

                Danny… I heard of him but I never really knew him… The girls around school call him a heart throb. A lot of people say that he is a real honest guy. Lots of people like him… but honestly… I’ll have to see It to believe it… I just can’t honestly think of a guy like that. To me I think that it cannot even come close to being real.

“how dose Danny even know me?... considering that I don’t even know him.”
“he an Lycel are in the same class.”
“How do you know him?”
“that is a conversation for another time… maybe over a beer latter tonight.”

                I made up my mind. I was going to see Ice… if she needed my help then I would help her.